of a question and a long answer...
I was asked a rather interesting question by geekchic the other day. The question was “Why do you want to be a parent?”. That got me thinking. I guess it’s one of those obvious but potentially profound things that you ask. In any case, in the spirit of “There’s no stupid questions, only curious idiots neurotic engineers”, I will attempt to answer the question.
I guess one might ask back “Why not?”. Isn’t that the nature of things. Grow up, go to school, get a job, buy a house, get married, have a kid or two, grow old and become a prune and eventually expire? Probably that is the easy answer but we all know that it is just avoiding the question. Besides if that is the nature of things, then we might as well be a production line running on generic sequence of events.
The grandiose and utopian part of me would like to think that I am bringing another life into this world and shaping her to the person that she will be. I have always loved the idea of mentoring or you could say teaching a person to bring out their potential. I guess mentoring might not be the right word, but it’s the idea of teaching and sharing knowledge to someone. So, having a kid will be like having a captive audience that hopefully will listen to me. But in all honesty, even now, I just relish the idea of introducing the world to girl girl. There is some special quality about this thing called ‘knowledge’ the more you share it the better you feel because you know that you have in a way made another person’s life better.
Then there is also this thought that with wifey’s good looks and my ….er…… brain (perhaps?), it would have been a big waste if we do not pass down out good genes. But we all know that who am I fooling anyway. Girl girl will be her own person and I bet that the will definitely be the improved version of her parents.
Or perhaps it’s a form of insurance for our old age. I sometimes worry that when wifey and I become old wrinkled prunes, we would have no one to clean up after us. Or take care of us in case we break a hip or something. Or update wifey with the latest celebrity gossips when her eyesight gets too bad that she’s not able to read the gossips megazines. So probably it’s a good idea to invest in some insurance. (note to girl girl: no pressure la. Just make sure we get our yearly overseas trip and daily meals at 5 stras restaurants and we will not complain)
I do also have to admit that I am selfish, what I have, I want more. I am talking specifically about this quality that every human being has: Love. The thing about love is that it come form a bottomless vessel. You can never get enough of it and you can never give out enough that you run out. There may be times or people who have difficulty giving or accepting, but it is to my believe that everyone is capable. So, what is this with me and this selfish thing. For one, I realize that there is a special quality about love. The more you give to others the more it will grow in you. It can never run out. Sort of like the perfect investment. The more you give the more, the more it will grew in you and as a bonus, to more you give it to someone, the more you will receive. So I guess in a way, being a parent allow me to sort of indulge myself in this ‘selfish’ habit of growing myself and my daughter into more loving persons.
Or probably, I get bored easily and need entertainment. So probably a wriggly pink little human being will give me hours of entertainment. But on the downside though, with joy there comes work. So probably I will need to think of ways to make diaper changing and night feeds a fun event. (Mental cue: Tom Sawyer and his white fence trick)
But after all is said and done, I guess the most important to me is that It’s not even about the question of why does one wants to be a parent. It is about What have I done right that God have chosen me (and wifey) to be parents. We must have done something right in out life that God has chose to delive a life through us. I guess there is no greater blessing or privilege than to be handed something so precious and to be entrusted take care of for the rest of your life. Interestingly enough, in a lull during a meeting today, my mind wondered why they call the act of giving birth as delivering a baby. There’s no UPS nor DHL nor poslaju guy to hand anything to you. So why deliver. Then it occurred to me that it is actually the act of something (in this case a little human being) being given and entrusted to you. And then it hit me. this is some heavy stuff. Big responsibility, if I can say so. But whatever God has given to you, He will also provide the necessary add ons, upgrades and accessories to you. In this case, patience by the truckloads, strenght and preseverance by the bundles, good health by the bushels dan lain lain lagi.
I guess one might ask back “Why not?”. Isn’t that the nature of things. Grow up, go to school, get a job, buy a house, get married, have a kid or two, grow old and become a prune and eventually expire? Probably that is the easy answer but we all know that it is just avoiding the question. Besides if that is the nature of things, then we might as well be a production line running on generic sequence of events.
The grandiose and utopian part of me would like to think that I am bringing another life into this world and shaping her to the person that she will be. I have always loved the idea of mentoring or you could say teaching a person to bring out their potential. I guess mentoring might not be the right word, but it’s the idea of teaching and sharing knowledge to someone. So, having a kid will be like having a captive audience that hopefully will listen to me. But in all honesty, even now, I just relish the idea of introducing the world to girl girl. There is some special quality about this thing called ‘knowledge’ the more you share it the better you feel because you know that you have in a way made another person’s life better.
Then there is also this thought that with wifey’s good looks and my ….er…… brain (perhaps?), it would have been a big waste if we do not pass down out good genes. But we all know that who am I fooling anyway. Girl girl will be her own person and I bet that the will definitely be the improved version of her parents.
Or perhaps it’s a form of insurance for our old age. I sometimes worry that when wifey and I become old wrinkled prunes, we would have no one to clean up after us. Or take care of us in case we break a hip or something. Or update wifey with the latest celebrity gossips when her eyesight gets too bad that she’s not able to read the gossips megazines. So probably it’s a good idea to invest in some insurance. (note to girl girl: no pressure la. Just make sure we get our yearly overseas trip and daily meals at 5 stras restaurants and we will not complain)
I do also have to admit that I am selfish, what I have, I want more. I am talking specifically about this quality that every human being has: Love. The thing about love is that it come form a bottomless vessel. You can never get enough of it and you can never give out enough that you run out. There may be times or people who have difficulty giving or accepting, but it is to my believe that everyone is capable. So, what is this with me and this selfish thing. For one, I realize that there is a special quality about love. The more you give to others the more it will grow in you. It can never run out. Sort of like the perfect investment. The more you give the more, the more it will grew in you and as a bonus, to more you give it to someone, the more you will receive. So I guess in a way, being a parent allow me to sort of indulge myself in this ‘selfish’ habit of growing myself and my daughter into more loving persons.
Or probably, I get bored easily and need entertainment. So probably a wriggly pink little human being will give me hours of entertainment. But on the downside though, with joy there comes work. So probably I will need to think of ways to make diaper changing and night feeds a fun event. (Mental cue: Tom Sawyer and his white fence trick)
But after all is said and done, I guess the most important to me is that It’s not even about the question of why does one wants to be a parent. It is about What have I done right that God have chosen me (and wifey) to be parents. We must have done something right in out life that God has chose to delive a life through us. I guess there is no greater blessing or privilege than to be handed something so precious and to be entrusted take care of for the rest of your life. Interestingly enough, in a lull during a meeting today, my mind wondered why they call the act of giving birth as delivering a baby. There’s no UPS nor DHL nor poslaju guy to hand anything to you. So why deliver. Then it occurred to me that it is actually the act of something (in this case a little human being) being given and entrusted to you. And then it hit me. this is some heavy stuff. Big responsibility, if I can say so. But whatever God has given to you, He will also provide the necessary add ons, upgrades and accessories to you. In this case, patience by the truckloads, strenght and preseverance by the bundles, good health by the bushels dan lain lain lagi.
posted by Duckie at
4:11 PM
